In my mind's eye

Some day, when I'm awfully low,
When the world is cold,
I will feel a glow just thinking of you...
And the way you look tonight.

Yes you're lovely, with your smile so warm
And your cheeks so soft,
There is nothing for me but to love you,
And the way you look tonight.

With each word your tenderness grows,
Tearing my fear apart...
And that laugh that wrinkles your nose,
It touches my foolish heart.

Lovely ... Never, ever change.
Keep that breathless charm.
Won't you please arrange it ?
'Cause I love you ... Just the way you look tonight.

Mm, Mm, Mm, Mm,
Just the way you look to-night.



I heard this song at the GenCon dance, of all improbable places. I can pretty safely say she and I will never dance to this song at a GenCon dance. But she was there, as surely as I was, in my heart.

The first time I really connected with this song, I had arrived for a meeting about ten minutes early. There was snow on the ground, and that bright winter's daylight poured into a lounge area at the American Family Insurance campus, just outside of Madison. I'd brought my iPod along, and a notebook, and began to scribble some thoughts down that I wanted to share with Olympia later on in an email. I don't remember what song came on before this one, and I wasn't really conscious of having gotten this song or put it into a playlist; I'd just downloaded a bunch of Buble's tunes, and then there it was.

His words took hold of me. By this time, I knew I wanted to move back to the islands, and I have a very strong, developing reason to do so. I'd met her once, really. Seen a couple pics from her birthday I'd had zero chance of attending about a month later. I'd been struck that very first day, and although I had only seen her in person that little bit of time, and maybe a few pics, I had a picture of her in my mind's eye. We were growing to know one another, falling.

It was the kind of thing that when it happens, it seems to be the most natural thing in the world. Afterwards, you feel kind of silly explaining it to normal, rational people.

I listened to this song, sitting in that lounge, waiting for my meeting. It was as if the "me" from some distant future was remembering this song, as it was special to the two of us, Olympia and I.

It was a little surreal.

I've never come close to forgetting that moment. I'm not sure if I've ever shared with her how that moment was singular in my life, that winter morning in Madison. But now when I hear the song, I'm there, and I'm also with her, and I am also in the future at some point... looking at her, and feeling the song just as surely as I did the first time I heard it. I felt that same way at the dance, as I stood alone up on a perfect perch, looking down into the grand ballroom and seeing many couples sway together.

Listening to it now, as it happens. In bed, just as the evening comes to a close, and I have about zero chance of being there in a month, with her.


Yep. Silly.