Gravity
Is working against me
And gravity
Wants to bring me down

Oh I'll never know
What makes this man
With all the love
That his heart can stand
Dream of ways
To throw it all away

It does seem that at times, I positively work as hard as I can to figure out ways of happy, loving situations. It almost never seems to be the case while I'm going through it, but afterwards I look through the lens of hindsight, and it seems obvious that I was diligently plugging away at changing things.

This might be a twisted form of revisionist pattern recognition. But sometimes it doesn't matter. It seems like it would be nice to work towards love, then stay there. Not get there, and then take steps that would later seem to be leas away.

Oh Gravity
Is working against me
And gravity
Wants to bring me down

Oh twice as much
Ain’t twice as good
And can't sustain
Like one half could
It's wanting more
It's gonna send me to my knees

Is a tendency, a force in the nature of who I am, that I want to unwind the strands that seem to promise me happiness? It seems to be fundamental that if I start down this path, this unwinding, this movement "away from" love, that twice as much effort to hold me is half as effective, at best. I get the idea in my head, and although someone might reach out, I push back. Harder.

Oh twice as much
Ain’t twice as good
And can't sustain
Like one half could
It's wanting more
It's gonna send me to my knees

Oh gravity
Stay the hell away from me
Oh gravity
Has taken better men than me
Now how can that be?

I like to think I'm a pretty bright guy, and as time marches on maybe even passably wise. I haven't gotten this particular pattern figured out. Is it a cracked mirror showing me a history that was never a present, distorting my appreciation of things in retrospect... or am I caught in this pattern of never wanting to be where I am? Wiser people than me, smarter people haven't figured this out. I might have to pull for luck, on this.


Just keep me where the light is
Just keep me where the light is
Just keep me where the light is
C’mon keep me where the light is
C’mon keep me where the light is
C’mon keep me where keep me where the light is


Sometimes luck and friends are the best you can hope for; the rest will all just sort of fall into place. the universe probably isn't some dynamic system that follows the same rules. It's probably more quantum at this level, and changes merely by my act of examining it.


- lyrics by John Mayer