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Sorry about the delay in getting back; I haven't had time to sit and type anything longer than my "status" thingy here. Weak, I know.
I read what you said, about missing the feeling of being in love, and smiled as well. I'm pretty sure you're still in love; this is just the achey part of it. Love isn't just the joy, unfortunately... it's also the ache. You're not with that special person in most any way you can define it... physically, technically, socially... but you're there in your heart; and that definitely still counts. So... love is there, just kind of a pain, now.
As far as "anything you'd have to say on the matter" not being perfectly rendered, well... this is your first experience with anything remotely like this; it's a huge deal, and you have very little experience or prototypes to fall back on. You shouldn't be anything other than the person stumbling around, grasping at whatever presents itself.
We're all like that, when we learn. I know it sucks, I know you're not used to it, but it's one of the things you're not a savant with : ) Gotta learn like the rest of us... get a helmet, though; it gets worse.
And better, of course.
Most times, the only lens we have to look at things like this with is hindsight. With the most dry and factual of experiences, this can be tough... but bring the heart into it, and things get -way- distorted. We remember only the good stuff, or only the bad. Things seem more intense, or less. And so on.
Dealing with the ache and sadness of an attempt at love that hasn't gone well is kinda like floating down a river with someone, and having a conversation about what's going on. You can talk about how you got into the water, or where you were a few moments ago, or where you are -this- moment ( which becomes where you were, really ). After a lot of energy and time in the water, sooner or later it gets clearer that the only really important discussion is how to get back to shore.
I'm not saying talking about what was, what took place is useless; it's almost always necessary, and part of who we are. But there definitely comes a point where the focus has to shift, or you'll be in the water longer than is good.
"
I read what you said, about missing the feeling of being in love, and smiled as well. I'm pretty sure you're still in love; this is just the achey part of it. Love isn't just the joy, unfortunately... it's also the ache. You're not with that special person in most any way you can define it... physically, technically, socially... but you're there in your heart; and that definitely still counts. So... love is there, just kind of a pain, now.
As far as "anything you'd have to say on the matter" not being perfectly rendered, well... this is your first experience with anything remotely like this; it's a huge deal, and you have very little experience or prototypes to fall back on. You shouldn't be anything other than the person stumbling around, grasping at whatever presents itself.
We're all like that, when we learn. I know it sucks, I know you're not used to it, but it's one of the things you're not a savant with : ) Gotta learn like the rest of us... get a helmet, though; it gets worse.
And better, of course.
Most times, the only lens we have to look at things like this with is hindsight. With the most dry and factual of experiences, this can be tough... but bring the heart into it, and things get -way- distorted. We remember only the good stuff, or only the bad. Things seem more intense, or less. And so on.
Dealing with the ache and sadness of an attempt at love that hasn't gone well is kinda like floating down a river with someone, and having a conversation about what's going on. You can talk about how you got into the water, or where you were a few moments ago, or where you are -this- moment ( which becomes where you were, really ). After a lot of energy and time in the water, sooner or later it gets clearer that the only really important discussion is how to get back to shore.
I'm not saying talking about what was, what took place is useless; it's almost always necessary, and part of who we are. But there definitely comes a point where the focus has to shift, or you'll be in the water longer than is good.
"
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