on the nature of what's real

This from the Loyola University online health resource:

Tinnitus: sensation of a ringing, roaring, or buzzing sound in the ears or head; often associated with various forms of hearing impairment

Ever since I could remember, I’ve had this condition. It’s never a problem, at least it doesn’t manifest in my life to my detriment. As it’s always been there, I’ve habituated to it for the most part. If I attend to it, I can hear it loudly and clear, but if I don’t, it’s just sort of there lingering in the background. You’d think that like other sensations, a constant –something- for long enough would sort of wear a “hole” in my sensorium, like monitor burn-through with some imagery that never changes and burns through on the screen’s phosphors, but no. Its still there, loud and clear after some 30 odd years.

About 15 years ago, I was laid up in the hospital with viral meningitis, a condition I would not recommend to anyone. I had a 105 fever, an acute sensitivity to light, much back pain, and not too much chance of survival. I also had copious amounts of spare time, and while I lay there in the bed, I identified my particular flavor of tinnitus.

It seems to be 3 different sounds layered on top of one another. The tones of a hearing test, wind through leafy branches, and the call of a locust, like you might here in the Midwest during any hot summer near some trees.

I had more than my share of ear problems as a child, though I don’t really think the tinnitus is as a result of all that.

Anyway... today as I sat in Borders finishing up some work, I had occasion to think about how we take things as "facts"; usually with some sort of objective proof. If someone else can observe it, it's "real". The inverse is a commonly held fallacy- if others can't perceive it, it's not real. Of course this is not true... there are plenty of things I can perceive that many others can't, but nonetheless are still quite real.

The same is likely true for you.

But it struck me that tinnitus is a particularly interesting expression of this concept; I can hear it, you can't. Millions of people can hear their own variety of it, but no one else can.

Are we crazy, those who hear our own singular sounds?

Well, maybe. But not because of the locusts we hear, or the wind through the trees.