tattoo you

Poet Laurate of the United States and all around cool guy Ted Kooser has this to say about tattoos:

Tattoo

What once was meant to be a statement,
a dripping dagger held in the fist
of a shuddering heart,
is now just a bruiseon a bony old shoulder, the spot
where vanity once punched him hard
and the ache lingered on. He looks like
someone you had to reckon with,
strong as a stallion, fast and ornery,
but on this chilly morning, as he walksbetween the tables at a yard sale
with the sleeves of his tight black T-shirtrolled up to show us who he was,
he is only another old man, picking upbroken tools and putting them back,
his heart gone soft and blue with stories.

from Delights & Shadows, Copper Canyon Press, Port Townsend, WA 2004


Which got me to thinking.

And before I mentally wander all over the place, I will probably talk about women's tattoos, some few things that attract me to some women, tattoos in general, and writing in the pages of the books of our lives. Ready?

On the subject of women's tattoos, I have many opinions. When and where, how much is too much, and how it all presents. And before I wade into that particular puddle, please understand that everyone is free to do whatever they want with their body. Whatever it happens to be. These are just my opinions. This is a blog, after all. I have a few little quirks, when it comes to my "type" of women.

I don't really have a set type, beyond the whole proportional thing. I could list all of the obvious deal breakers and yummy-things, but that's the subject for another blog. One thing that can -really- draw or repel me is a woman's tattoos; what she has, what they are, and where they're placed.

Body as canvas.

What I don't like: lots of tattoos, all over the place, like maybe they were once stickers and the girl threw them on the floor a-la 52 Pickup, got hammered, got naked, and rolled around a bit. Lots of tattoos for no real reason- Bad.

Tattoos of -stupid- things ( like a smurf, or the latest BoyBand logo ) or ones that look like you had your cellmate do them with a shiv, a Bic pen, a lighter, and some spare time. Bad as well.

Tattoos on the chest, lots of random tattoos, and crappy tattoos tend to speak with a very loud voice to me, and say things like "My old man has a hog like that 'un. Gimmie a ride" and "after Daddy wus done beatin' on Momma, he tole me that my tattoo of Odie was cherry" and "If I'm not getting high somewhere, you can -always- find me at the bowlin' alley.." And so on.

Am I a snob? Could be, but like I said, my opinions. ~laughs~

And as I write this, somehow I - know - the next Love of My Life will have tattoos much as I describe, above. We'll be inseparable from the start, and then she'll stumble onto my blog, at which point she'll run over me with some other guy's Harley, on her way to the Tidy-Bowl.

Anyway.

So yea, not-a-lot-of-thought into What or Where is not exactly a hallmark of class. Or brains. A little better but along these lines are just a few tattoos, that happen to show when you're wearing some kind of "normal" clothing. And I guess there's a bit of gray here; it's like what the Supreme Court standard on "obscene": you know it when you see it. A showing tattoo is usually bad, but not always. Hard to define.

A step or three in the right direction is the nicely done, single but asymmetrically placed tattoo on a shoulder, a hip, or other place that doesn't show. I don't feel one way or the other about these. They don't show, so who cares? But it seems like sort of a missed opportunity to do it Really Well. To that, I say that there are -very- few tattoos on a woman's body that wouldn't be ten times more attractive and done Really Well if "properly placed".

I know the lower back thing is kinda played out, now... but I like it. I'm helpless, in this. Every club bunny and mall girl and sorority pledge has a tattoo on her lower back. And God bless them all. Vince Vaughn's Jeremy Gray and I are in perfect agreement here. Climbing up the yummy ladder, other great spots would include:

* Base of the neck
* Centered on the back
* Centered, in the tummy/navel area.

I'm not a maniac when it comes to this, or a slave to precision or centering, either. I can think of tattoos done off-center some way that look -amazing- , but I hardly ever see those. I just see the crappy I-have-one-for-every-boyfriend-I've-had-this-month-and-I'm-running-out-of-space variety.

Which brings me to my tie in, Teddy's poem, women's tattoos, and canvas of our lives. I know one or three women that are strongly considering tattoos. Good ones, that they'd put in alluring places. But one concern is the one ( sort of ) enumerated in Ted's poem.

"I might be a freak now, and want a sexy-hot tattoo. But I don't want my granddaughter asking me about the faded Celtic cross I have above my sagging grandma-ass."
- Miscellaneous Hottie

To that, I say this: As you grow old, the look in your eye, the lines on your face, your hair color, and a hundred other small voices speak to your experience in this life. They all make up not only who you are at this moment, but tell a story of where you've been, and how you came to be here.

Lots of smile lines? That tells me you've probably laughed at funerals, in spite of what your mother told you, and that's good. Heavy, tired eyes? My guess is you've seen a lot, and if I take time to sit and talk with you, your stories will beat mine, hands-down. And so on.

The tattoos that we get in our youth speak to who we were when we got them, not necessarily who we'll always be. But they might, and that's kinds cool, too. Not a bad thing, in my opinion. I'm pretty sure it wasn't a bad thing in Ted Kooser's opinion, either. But he didn't speak to it clearly in the poem, and somehow I think if I bend the resources of Google towards the Poet Laurate's name, I still won't find how if he agrees with the assessment that a woman's lower back tattoo "might as well be a bullseye".

~sighs~

Well well. Look at this. Another novella, and I haven't even touched on some few things that make me go "Hmmmmmm" women-wise.

Like this is a serious agenda item, and you're all chomping at the byte. : ) maybe some other time. Afraid of what your grandkids will say about tattoos? Is there a -perfect- spot for tattoos on someone?

Inquiring mindz wanna know.